"My mind sees that I am nothing, my heart sees that I am everything, between these two poles my life unfolds."

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Meet My Physician

I've noticed that some blogs occasionally have a guest post. 
My doctor has graciously agreed to answer a few questions today.


Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: Oh no. Wine made from fruit. Brandy distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Bottom up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. If you have two body, your ratio two to one.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of single one, sorry. My philosophy: No pain...good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food fried in vegetable oil. How getting more vegetable be bad?

Q : Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Oh no! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: You crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for figure, explain whale to me.

Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is shape! 

Well... I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

12 comments:

  1. Jane this is so funny! Finally, a doctor who understands me - "Explain whale to me" ! Now I feel soooo much better about my food choices and wine intake.I'm going to register myself with him immediately!

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  2. Great advice! I'm in. Now where did I put my ice cream bowl...and my BIG spoon! (You have such a cool physician)

    *Love the idea of the cocoa bean being a vegetable!*

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  3. I can't stop laughing at this! I love the swimming one! I'll definitely be using that one in future!

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  4. Mwahaha! I'll remember all this when I'm drinking my green smoothies:)

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  5. Jane where do you find all these great things.
    Lisa

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  6. I thought it best if I got us all some sound medical advice from an expert before buying into all the information that's out there on the net...!

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  7. I want to hug this man!

    You know the smartest people, Jane!

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  8. Hahahahah. I need a new family doctor!

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  9. I bet he's hard to get into to see.

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